Saturday, January 27, 2018

Intentional; my word for 2018

Well, since January is almost over, I guess I better fit in all my New Year’s related material, right? 
I reeeeeallly need to catch up! 

I’ve thought a lot about this. Choosing a word or “theme” for the year is pretty trendy right now, so at first I felt silly jumping in on it. But the more I examined the last year, the more I realized that I actually really NEED a word for the year to constantly remind myself of where I want to be, and more importantly who I want to be. I need something to ground me and urge me to get back on track when life gets a little out of hand, aka at least twice a day. 

Last year, I became a mom. 2017 quickly became the best and hardest year of my entire life. It was so busy, so hectic, so unpredictable, and it flew by so fast. I honestly don’t really think last year even happened. It’s all a blur. 

I look at Oaklyn now, at almost 10 months, and regret wishing she’d hit milestones sooner. I regret wanting her to sit up, crawl, and stand, because that meant I was cherishing all those other moments a little bit less. Of course we’re having a total blast chasing her around the house (and now up the stairs, *cue heart palpitations*) and watching her dance to music, but I miss her snuggling with us in the mornings and sitting still for more than 3 minutes.

I began to realize that moments were slipping by without my permission, and they came and went before I even realized what had happened. Whether it was because we filled our schedule too much, or my brain was on auto pilot due to lack of sleep, I realized that there were moments that I wish I had savored more. I realized that I was living each day as if it was a routine, not as if it was my only chance to live in that particular moment. 

My husband and I talked about wanting to be intentional this year. We want to be less distracted by TV and social media, and more consumed with our marriage and our family. Coincidentally, that is the exact theme of our church this year as well, so we’ll have constant reminders along the way (which I most definitely need).

I’ve started trying to be more intentional with my time. I turn off the TV more often, and try to leave my phone in my pocket more. I study the way Oaklyn has to examine and poke every toy before she plays with it, and the way she talks to herself when she’s really focused on something. I’ve tried to be more present in conversations, and keep my head in that moment rather than on the mile long to-do list I have waiting for me. I’ve committed to pursuing worthwhile friendships and put my whole heart into loving them, intentionally seeking deeper and more meaningful connections. I've realized that the best relationships are the ones that you deliberately and actively seek out, reminding them every day that you love them and you want to be in their life. If you don't pursue them, they wont pursue you. I want this year to be the year I finally create a foundation for lifelong relationships.

I refuse to let this year go by without savoring and living in every single moment. I refuse to let any more moments pass without noticing the beauty in them. From now on, I'm choosing to be present, and living every day with intent.

Bring it on, 2018

p.s. If you enjoyed this post, check out my friends Kate and Natalie's posts on their words for the year! Get inspired! 

Wednesday, January 24, 2018

I'm back!

WOW… I haven’t posted since THANKSGIVING. I’d love to say I feel really bad, but the truth is, I really enjoyed spending the holiday season with family and friends, and our plates were quite full (literally and figuratively) for a while. But life has slowed down, and gosh darn it, I’m ready to be back. 

I blame my unplanned hiatus a bit on busyness, but also a bit on laziness. It’s downright difficult to have an incredibly active 9 month old rampaging your house all day, and when she finally crashes, I just haven't felt like blogging. I feel like turning off my brain and doing nothing while there's a brief moment of silence in my house. 

 Every now and then, a blog topic passes through my head, or a recipe works perfectly that I think about sharing immediately. But I let the moment go by, think “i should blog that later,”, and then all of a sudden it’s been 2 months. 

One of my goals for the new year is to not put so much pressure on myself, so when I did decided to start back up with my blog, I didn’t make specific goals. I don’t want to pressure myself to blog on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, and I don't’ want to stress myself out if I don’t have a great post planned sometimes. I want it to be ok that I don’t follow a set schedule right now or push myself to finish a post “on time.” I want to enjoy it, so I refuse to pressure myself over it. 

My blog is a bit of an outlet for me, so my goal is to write more often instead of scrolling Instagram or catching up on a show. I do a lot of that. I fill my free time with the same mind-numbing things, and find that my goals begin to suffer. The housework piles up, my email inbox just keeps nagging me to read it, and the brilliant ideas in my head just come and go with no further thought. When I turn off the tv or put away my phone, I find the energy to do other things like write, clean, or meal prep. Which is coincidentally another one of my goals. (#NewYearNewMe amirite?)

Since the new year, I’ve been keeping with most of my other goals, but I realized that I had really let myself get into a funk over my blog. I started to think that maybe people didn’t really care about my opinion on what the best chili recipe is, or what I recommend wearing to a Christmas party. But the truth is, I started the blog for me, not for page views. 

So here we go again! I’m really excited to be back, and while I don’t have a specific plan for this page, I can already feel that this year is gonna be good. I have lots to share already, so I better start writing! 

Thanks for sticking around, friends.